Books by Lemony Snicket
Born: 1970Lemony Snicket Biography & Notes
It is said that Handler will release two other books to go with the Unfortunate Series, one called Volunteer Training and the other named The Notorious Notations, both to be released in early 2006.
Snicket often writes comments of his own life in the books, mostly relating the fact he is in peril or on the run. He is in love with a mysterious woman Beatrice, of whom there is very little further evidence. Both Beatrice and Snicket served at one time as members of V.F.D. Since her untimely death in unknown (to the reader) circumstances, he dedicates all the books to her with statements such as "When we were together, I felt breathless. Now you are." This sort of humour is his normal writing style throughout the books. On The Family Tree in pages 196 and 197 of Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography, it says his grandfather's name is Chas Snicket. He has two siblings, a brother, Jacques Snicket, who dies in The Vile Village, and a sister, Kit Snicket, who took Violet, Klaus and Sunny away in a black cab at the end of the eleventh book, The Grim Grotto. One page of the Unauthorized Authobiography claims his father's name is Jacob, which directly conflicts with the family tree which claims his name begins with the letter 'E'. He was abducted by V.F.D. at an early age, as recorded in the ballad "The Little Snicket Lad". The song describes, to what may or may not be a well-known hymn of naval disaster, V.F.D.'s activities and methods, claiming that members broke into his house and took him while his parents were out.
He is described, among other things, as having been born beside the sea and now living underneath it, as a distinguished scholar, and as having been stripped of the Honorable Mention and the Grey Ribbon. Photographs of Snicket are shown, but are always taken from behind, except that in The Unauthorized Autobiography there is a photograph of the crew of a ship (whose names all seem to be those of famous authors), with a caption indicating that Snicket is in the photo, but the face of the sailor said to be Snicket has been mysteriously torn from the photograph. He sometimes claims to be writing the book in various perilous situations, such as an Italian restaurant which is slowly filling with water or behind the altar of a packed cathedral.
Additionally, about once per book, Snicket provides the reader with a glimpse of his life. We know that he:
* plays the accordion
* plays the Harpsichord
* has been chased by an angry mob for 16 miles
* had an unhappy love affair with a woman called Beatrice, who even wrote a book (200 pages) explaining why it was impossible for her to marry him
* attended a costume ball dressed as a bullfighter, to gain access to his beloved Beatrice, who was dressed as a dragonfly
* once had a sword-fight with a television repairman
* once had a curse put on him by a fortune-teller (possibly Madame Lulu) after he accidentally broke her crystal ball after being tripped by a policeman
* learned how to make a salad from his sister
* wrote the books because of Beatrice's death
* was once a member of the Queequeg
* It is possible, based on the letters to his editor, which can be found at the end of each book, that he was always with the Baudelaires while they were going through what he then wrote about.
* has one or more pet marmosets
Handler originally came up with "Lemony Snicket" as a pseudonym to use rather than placing his real name on the mailing lists of several right-wing organizations he was researching for one of his novels. It became something of an in-joke with his friends, who were known to order pizzas under the name. When he found himself writing a series of children's books, he decided to use the Snicket name to add an air of mystery to proceedings; Lemony Snicket is an elusive figure. Handler has a considerable amount of fun with the Snicket character in the author biography sections of the books, in a page at the end of every book where Snicket makes complicated arrangements for the delivery of the manuscript of the next book to his publisher, on the Lemony Snicket website and in Snicket's Unauthorized Autobiography. To further amuse readers, the U.S. hardcover edition of this book has a reversible dust jacket that can be "disguised" as The Luckiest Kids in the World Book 1: The Pony Party! by "Loney M. Setnick," which is an anagram of "Lemony Snicket".
To fill time at the end of the first audio book, read by Tim Curry, there is an interview which is supposed to be with "Mr. Snicket" but apparently he is not home, and the interview proceeds with "Mr. Handler," who confuses himself with his "employer" throughout the interview. To avoid answering any tough questions, Handler invokes a psychological device by which the response to a query can be so horrible that it seems to the listener as if it was not given at all.
A commentary track entitled "Brad Silberling and the real Lemony Snicket Commentary" was recorded for the DVD released on 26 April 2005. Brad Silberling is the movie's director, and the "real Lemony Snicket" joke is a jibe aimed at Jude Law, considered the "Imposter Lemony Snicket."
Lemony Snicket, as distinct from Handler, has also written three non-Unfortunate-Events-related works. The first was the opening story of It Was a Dark and Silly Night, a volume of Art Spiegelman and Françoise Mouly's Little Lit series. The story begins "In this case, SILLY stands for Slightly Intelligent, Largely Laconic Yeti..." The second was a short story published in the USA Weekend magazine (a US newspaper supplement), dated December 10-12, 2004. This was a holiday story entitled "The Lump of Coal," and included two full-color illustrations by Brett Helquist (who has also illustrated all of the books in the Series of Unfortunate Events to date). The third was an introduction and a half of a story for the short story collection Noisy Outlaws, Unfriendly Blobs, and Other Things. The half of a story is a contest inviting readers to help finish it and win a special prize.
Suggestions or corrections for the editor? Click here.
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13 Alarming Months! 13 Alarming Months! by Lemony Snicket ( 2004) The year is long enough Lemony Snicket is renowned throughout the literary world as an author one really ought to avoid thinking about. HarperCollins is pleased to present a calendar that makes such avoidance very difficult. With lavish illustrations and distressing commentary, this calendar will remind you of nothing but Lemony Snicket, the Baudelaire orphans, Count Olaf, sleet, and other woeful things you are better off without. |
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Academy Muy Austera / the Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket, Veronica Canales ( 2003) |
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Adverbios/ Adverbs by Lemony Snicket ( 2008) |
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Adverbs by Lemony Snicket ( 2006)
Daniel Handler aka Lemony Snicket writes with a lighthearted air and a clever touch in these loosely interconnected stories for adults--albeit with a certain fairytale whimsy and an odd spot of magic here and there. The running theme is love in its many guises, and Handler's interchangeable characters fall in love in multiple ways in many unlikely places.
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El Asserradero Lagubre by Lemony Snicket ( 2005) |
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The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket ( 2000) Dear Reader, If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire arc intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don't. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives. Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E., and the metric system. It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book. With all due respect, |
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The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket ( 2007) |
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The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket ( 2004) Like a car alarm, bagpipe music, or a doorbell ringing in the middle of the night, hearing this all-new audio edition of The Bad Beginning will only upset you. This unique multi-voice recording brings the first book in Lemony Snicket's alarming A Series of Unfortunate Events to such terrible life that no one should really have to experience it. Unless you have an ear for such ghastly details as a tragic fire, a nefarious villain, itchy clothing, and cold porridge for breakfast, all narrated in chilly detail by the distinguished, and disturbed, Tim Curry with a team of talented readers, you would be better off listening to something else. Featuring Tim Curry |
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The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket ( 1999)
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In the first two books alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, a lumpy bed, a deadly serpent, a large brass reading lamp, a long knife, and a terrible odor. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Never before has a tale of three likable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or quite so uproariously unhappy.
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The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket ( 1999)
Dear Reader,
I'm sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very first page of this book when the children are at the beach and receive terrible news, continuing on through the entire story, disaster lurks at their heels. One might say they are magnets for misfortune. In this short book alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast. It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from putting this book down at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing. With all due respect, |
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The Bad Beginning, A Multi-Voice Recording A Series of Unfortunate Events #1 by Lemony Snicket ( )
Like a car alarm, bagpipe music, or a doorbell ringing in the middle of the night, hearing this all-new audio edition of The Bad Beginning will only upset you. This unique multi-voice recording brings the first book in Lemony Snicket's alarming A Series of Unfortunate Events to such terrible life that no one should really have to experience it. Unless you have an ear for such ghastly details as a tragic fire, a nefarious villain, itchy clothing, and cold porridge for breakfast, all narrated in chilly detail by the distinguished, and disturbed, Tim Curry with a team of talented readers, you would be better off listening to something else.
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The Basic Eight by Lemony Snicket ( 2006)
A satire of teenage life follows cynical soon-to-graduate Flannery Culp on a raucous journey through high school in the 1990s, covering SATs, college applications, friends, boyfriends, tabloid journalism, and TV talk shows. Reader's Guide available. Reprint.
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Behind The Scenes With Count Olaf by Lemony Snicket ( 2004) Are you standing up? Well, you'd better be, because you're about to give a standing ovation!!! Come behind the scenes of the Greatest Film Ever Made with me -- Count Olaf -- the movie's unspeakable dashing writer, director, producer, art director, cameraman, stuntman, set designer, and star! You'll get:
If you don't buy this book, you'll regret it. (That's not a joke.) So join Count Olaf -- that's me! -- on this journey through the magical movieland of my mind! |
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Book of Twelfth Display 18-copy floor display by Lemony Snicket ( 2005) |
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The Carnivorous Carnival by Lemony Snicket ( 2002) Dear Listener, The word "carnivorous," which appears in the title of this book, means "meat-eating," and once you have read such a bloodthirsty word, there is no reason to read any further. This carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal. It would be best if I didn't mention any of the unnerving ingredients of this story, particularly a confusing map, an ambidextrous person, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank, and Chabo the Wolf Baby. To avoid causing discomfort, your time might be better filled with something more palatable, such as eating your vegetables, or feeding them to someone else. With all due respect, Performed by Tim Curry |
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Cauchemar a LA Scierie by Lemony Snicket ( 2003) |
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The Complete Wreck A Series of Unfortunate Events Books 1-13 by Lemony Snicket ( 2006)
A Series of Unfortunate Events has been one of the most popular children's book series in recent memory, and it's now available in one absolutely enormous, 13-volume box set. The verbose adventures of the Baudelaire orphans--Klaus, Violet, and Sunny--can be read straight through, from beginning to end, as they battle their evil Uncle Olaf in a variety of venues, from the miserable mill to the grim grotto and on. With B&W illustrations.
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The Composer Is Dead by Lemony Snicket ( 2009)
When a murder takes place, everyone comes under suspicion and soon the Inspector is interrogating everyone, including the violins, the French horn, and every other instrument in order to solve the crime and put the culprit away!
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The Dilemma Deepens The Vile Village, the Hostile Hospital, & the Carnivorous Carnival by Lemony Snicket ( 2003) The third unfortunate gift/box -- set of this New York Times best -- selling series, which will include The Vile Village, The Hostile Hospital, and The Carnivorous Carnival. |
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The End by Lemony Snicket ( 2006)
With mysteries violently swirling around the Baudelaire orphans like smoke rising from the burning Hotel Denouement, the trio find themselves most unfortunately involved in a situation of dire proportions involving deadly mushrooms, work sheep, spiceless ceviche, and the dark past of the V.F.D. Washed up on a coastal shelf with their arch enemy, Count Olaf, the children find themselves taken in by kind islanders ruled over by a devious man name Ishmael who forces everyone to drink coconut cordial, dress like cult members, and scavenge the detritus that arrives with each storm. Will the identity of Lemony Snicket ever be discovered? Exactly who is the very mysterious Beatrice? Will the hapless but ever hopeful Baudelaire orphans ever get a break? Will Count Olaf finally be stopped? And where on earth is the sugar bowl? A 2006 New York Times Notable Book.
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The Ersatz Elevator by Lemony Snicket ( 2001) Dear Reader, If you have just picked up this particular book, then it is not too late to put it back down. Like the previous books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be found in these pages but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose something else to read. Within the chapters of this story, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire encounter a darkened staircase, a red herring, some friends in a dire situation, three mysterious initials, a liar with an evil scheme, a secret passageway, and parsley soda. I have sworn to write down these tales of the Baudelaire orphans so the general public will know each terrible thing that has happened to them, but if you decide to read something else instead, you will save yourself from a helpful of horror and woe. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket |
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The Gloom Looms The Slippery Slope, the Grim Grotto, & the Penultimate Peril by Lemony Snicket ( 2005)
The first six books--The Bad Beginning, The Reptile Room, The Wide Window, The Miserable Mill, The Austere Academy, and The Ersatz Elevator--in this alarming serial are securely detained inside a shrink-wrapped box, perfect for standing upon to appear taller.
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The Grim Grotto by Lemony Snicket ( 2004) Dear Listener, Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to listen to this audiobook, in which the Baudelaire siblings descend into the depths of despair, underwater. The horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and include mushrooms, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing. As a dedicated author who has pledged to keep recording the depressing story of the Baudelaires, I must continue to delve deep into the cavernous depths of the orphans' lives. You, on the other hand, may delve into some happier audiobook in order to keep your ears and your spirits from being dampened. With all due respect, Performed by Tim Curry |
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Habitacion de los reptilos / The Reptile Room by Nestor Busquets, Lemony Snicket ( 2003)
Having escaped from the evil Count Olaf in BAD BEGINNING, the Baudelaire children settle in with their new guardian, Uncle Monty. Unfortunately, the Baudelaires have not heard the last from Count Olaf, who returns with even more nefarious schemes and dastardly deeds.
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The Horrendous Heap A Series of Unfortunate Events So Far, Books 1-12 (The Bad Beginning; The Reptile Room; The Wide Window; The Miserable Mill; The Austere Academy; The Ersatz Elevator; The Vile Village; The Hostile Hospital; The Carnivorous Carnival; T by Lemony Snicket ( 2005)
Packed with extra goodies, this package includes the first 12 books in the bestselling Series of Unfortunate Events collection in four box sets. The wry, tragic tale of the Baudelaire orphans will riotously unfold from THE BAD BEGINNING all the way to THE PENULTIMATE PERIL. Included are a poster, a door hanger, stickers, and an iron-on.
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Horseradish Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid by Lemony Snicket, Lemony Snicket ( 2007)
Every graduate of kindergarten, college, and a correctional facility desperately needs this eye-opening collection of disheartening truths and unhappy observations, which are drawn from the author's work. 200,000 first printing.
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The Hostile Hospital by Lemony Snicket ( 2001) Dear Reader, Before you throw this awful book to the ground and run as far away from it as possible, you should probably know why. This book is the only one which describes every last detail of the Baudeclaire children's miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful books in the world. There are many pleasant things to read about, but this books contains none of them. Within its pages are such burdensome details as misleading newspaper headlines, unnecessary surgery, an intercom system, anesthesia, heart-shaped balloons, and some very startling news about such things. I have sworn to research this story, and to write it down as best I can, so I should know that this book is something best left on the ground, where you undoubtedly found it. With alldue respect, |
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The Hostile Hospital by Lemony Snicket ( 2003)
On the run after being falsely accused of murder, the three Baudelaire orphans find themselves in the Heimlich Hospital, with the evil Count Olaf in close pursuit.
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How to Dress for Every Occasion by the Pope by Lemony Snicket ( 2005)
Written by Daniel Handler--of the bestselling children's Series of Unfortunate Events fame--this hilarious, exclamation-strewn book notes the Pope's dress preferences from cross-decked scepter to dainty tasseled shoes to his Holiness's Ipod. Clad in a robe, hat, and tunic, eager fashion followers are sure to look stylish whether they're at the beach or in church. Elegantly bound in white and gold, this impressive little volume is accompanied by a helpful glossary, FAQ, and humorous B&W line illustrations--reminiscent of Daniel Clowes's style--with hints of brick red here and there.
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La habitacion de los Reptiles / The Reptiles Room by Lemony Snicket ( 2005) |
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Le Laboratoire Aux Serpents / the Reptile Room by Lemony Snicket ( 2002) |
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The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming A Christmas Story by Lemony Snicket ( 2007)
Only Lemony Snicket would write a Hanukah story that involves being fried alive and then eaten. In this truly odd but enjoyable little volume, the Christmas-time peace of a small village is broken by the wailing of a potato pancake coming to life. Leaping out of the frying pan and through the window, the yowling latke passes through the village, sharing the story of Hanukah in an irritated way. He eventually lands in the forest, where a most certain fate awaits him. With humorous, well-designed illustrations.
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Lemony Snicket The Unauthorized Biography by Lemony Snicket ( 2003) A Warning from the Publisher: Many readers have questions about Lemony Snicket, author of the distressing serial concerning the trials of the charming but unlucky Baudelaire orphans, published under the collective title A Series of Unfortunate Events. Before purchasing, borrowing, or stealing this book, you should be aware that it contains the answers to some of those questions, such as the following: 1. Who is Lemony 2. Is there a secret organization I should know about? 3. Why does Lemony Snicket spend his time researching and writing distressing books concerning the Baudelaire orphans? 4. Why do all of Lemony Snicket's books concerning a. sad dedication to a woman named Beatrice? 5. If there's nothing out there, what was that noise? Our advice to you is that you find a book that answers less upsetting questions than this one. Perhaps your librarian, bookseller, or parole officer can recommend a book that answers the question, "Aren't ponies adorable?" |
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Lemony Snicket The Unauthorized Autobiography by Lemony Snicket ( 2002)
Millions of readers of the New York Times best-selling A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS have been asking the same questions: Who is Lemony Snicket? Why has his face never been captured on film? Why is he so obsessed with three unlucky orphans and a woman named Beatrice? Why is he sought after by authorities, feared by associates, avoided by friends?
Finally, here is the definitive--and only--book for anyone interested in learning more about the alarmingly elusive author. All available documentation of Snicket's shocking past has been gathered, sorted, annotated, and is now available to the general public. Here is a collection of what can only be called "evidence"writings, photographs, mysterious diagrams, and even several disorienting maps, accompanied by captions, an introduction, and extensive index. Together, these pieces will shed light on a life that until now has been shrouded in darkness and will finally answer the question on everyone's mind: What do we really know about Lemony Snicket? |
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Lemony Snicket's 2004 Calendar of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket ( 2003) Do you sometimes forget what year it is? Do you ever find yourself disoriented, consumed with a feeling of doubt, dread, or hysteria? Lemony Snicket's Calendar of Unfortunate Events will help you navigate thirteen months -- January 2004 through January 2005 -- with relative confidence. Featuring full-color art by Brett Helquist, startling photographs from our Snicket Archives, depressing daily notations from Lemony Snicket, querulous quotes, rude reminders, and an extra day in February -- absolutely free -- this calendar may be the most excruciating way to remember that your days are numbered. |
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A Library of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket ( 2002)
This boxed set is comprised of hardcover copies of the first nine books in Lemony Snicket's popular series of books about the unlucky Baudelaire orphans--THE BAD BEGINNING, THE REPTILE ROOM, THE WIDE WINDOW, THE MISERABLE MILL, THE AUSTERE ACADEMY, THE ERSATZ ELEVATOR, THE VILE VILLAGE, THE HOSTILE HOSPITAL, AND THE CARNIVOROUS CARNIVAL.
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The Lump of Coal by Lemony Snicket ( 2008)
A lump of coal that wants to be an artist, but would settle for making decorative marks on a piece of grilled meat, rolls out of a forgotten bag of charcoal one winter and takes a spin through town seeking a miracle. 150,000 first printing.
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The Miserable Mill by Lemony Snicket ( 2000)
Dear Reader,
I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log. The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons. I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket |
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Nonsense Novels by Stephen Leacock, Lemony Snicket ( 2004) |
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The Notoriuous Notations by Lemony Snicket ( 2006) |
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Orphans! Murder! Disappearance! by Lemony Snicket, Lemony Snicket ( 2010) |
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Ouragan Sur La Lac / the Wide Window by Lemony Snicket ( 2003) |
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The Penultimate Peril A Series of Unfortunate Events #12 by Lemony Snicket ( )
After any harrowing struggle, it is nice to consider checking into a hotel for a rest. In fact, this might be just the break Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire could use after their wearying deep-sea adventure.
A hotel can be a good choice for any family vacation. With so many floors, such a variety of rooms, and a curious array of guests, spending time in the safety of the right hotel can be the perfect learning environment for children of any age. A keen researcher like Klaus, an adept inventor like Violet, and a sharp-toothed culinary master like Sunny are all sure to find engaging diversions during their stay. Regardless of how they pass their time while at a hotel, the three siblings will be sure to take in all the interesting sights and sounds, and write them down, just in case this episode turns out to be the darkest yet in a series of unfortunate events. |
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The Penultimate Peril by Lemony Snicket ( 2005)
In the twelfth title of this highly popular series, Count Olaf is still evil, the Baudelaire Orphans do not win a contest, and the yet undetermined title will begin with the word "The". Simultaneous.
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The Penultimate Peril by Lemony Snicket ( 2005)
In the twelfth title of this highly popular series, Count Olaf is still evil, the Baudelaire Orphans do not win a contest, and the yet undetermined title will begin with the word "The". Simultaneous.
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The Pessimistic Posters by Lemony Snicket ( 2004) Dear Wall Enthusiast, If you are looking for some sort of decoration for the walls of your home or cell, you have picked up the wrong item entirely. Not only is this poster book far too heavy to be nailed to a wall, the images it contains are extremely depressing. This book contains nothing but unnecessarily large photographs of distressing moments in the miserable lives of the three Baudelaire siblings. Even if you flip through the book as quickly as possible, you are likely to see images of a burnt-down house, a deadly snake,a bad play, and a notorious villain in a variety of badly tailored disguises. Your blank walls would be better off covered with a tapestry, a word which here means "an ugly piece ofcloth too thin to use as a blanket and too large to use as a napkin." I will spend the rest of my life staring at images like these in the cavernous room ofmy mind. You, however, are free to find more cheerful posters, perhaps displaying a fuzzy cat, a basket full of puppies, or a handful of flowers arranged in some sort of vase. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket |
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The Ponderous Postcards by Lemony Snicket ( 2004) Dear Postcard Enthusiast, The postcards in the book you are holding do not display images of sunny beaches, memorable skylines, funny cartoons, national landmarks, tropical birds, fast cars, influential paintings, handsome politicians, beautiful sunsets, or great film performances. Instead, these postcards feature images so distressing and unnerving that they are likely to make your postal carrier faint in fear, causing him to drop the postcards to the ground, where birds or squirrels might eat them. Your friends and associates will never receive the words you write on the back, and will believe that something dreadful has happened to you. Probably, they will conduct an investigation, and soon find themselves helplessly trapped in a web of intrigue and terror. Clearly, you should purchase something less likely to cause trouble, such as cheerful greeting cards, or a handful of lollipops, if that's the sort of thing you prefer. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket |
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The Reptile Room by Lemony Snicket ( 1999)
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In the first two books alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, a lumpy bed, a deadly serpent, a large brass reading lamp, a long knife, and a terrible odor. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Never before has a tale of three likable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or quite so uproariously unhappy.
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The Reptile Room #2 Multi-voice by Lemony Snicket ( 2009)
After narrowly escaping the menacing clutches of the dastardly Count Olaf, the three Baudelaire orphans are taken in by a kindly herpetologist with whom they live happily for an all-too-brief time. Read by Tim Curry and full cast. Book available.
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Una Serie De Catastroficas Desdichas / The Bad beginning, The Reptile Room, The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket, Nestor Busquets ( 2004) |
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A Set of Unfortunate Events Books 7-9 (The Vile Village, the Hostile Hospital, the Carnivorous Carnival) by Lemony Snicket ( 2002) |
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The Situation Worsens The Miserable Mill, the Austere Academy, & the Ersatz Elevator by Lemony Snicket ( 2002) What could be worse than a book by Lemony Snicket? Three books by Lemony Snicket—all in one foul package. This second Box of Unfortunate Events, contains The Miserable Mill, The Austere Academy, and The Ersatz Elevator. |
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The Slippery Slope by Lemony Snicket ( 2003) DISCLAIMER: The long term effects of listening to this audio are unknown. Scientists have detected slightly higher rates of panic, fright and free-floating anxiety amongst listeners to this audio than that found in those listeners who engaged in more pleasant listening activities. Dear Listener, Like handshakes or housepets, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up -- and down -- a range of strange and distressing mountains. It would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire. Unfortunately, I have dedicated my life to researching and recording the sad tale of the Baudelaire Orphans. There is no reason for you to dedicate yourself to such things, and you might instead dedicate yourself to letting this slippery audio slip from your hands into a nearby trash receptacle, or deep pit.With all due respect, Lemony Snicket |
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Tout Commence Mal / the Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket ( 2002) |
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The Trouble Begins The Wide Window, The Reptile Room, The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket ( 2004) Dear Fan of Count Olaf, If you are looking for a good time, I'm sorry to tell you that you are holding a box of books, a term which here means “three books too many." As you may know, reading is pretty much the boringest thing in the world. You would have a better time watching a motion picture starring a handsome count. My major motion picture, for example, starring me, features a mansion burnt to a crisp, a peg leg made of real wood, and leeches that eat people. True, this “box of books" has all these details, too, but there are so many words in it, and so few pictures of me. It is my solemn duty to command you to put this thing down at once and rush to your local movie theater to marvel at my groundbreaking performance in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Books are for ugly people. Of course you may have my autograph: Count Olaf |
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Una Funesta Finestra / the Wide Window by Lemony Snicket ( 2002) |
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The Vile Village by Lemony Snicket ( 2001) Dear Reader, You have undoubtedly picked up this book by mistake, so please put it down. Nobody in their right mind would read this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay in the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and dreadfully recorded in these pages. I can think of no single reason why anyone would want to open a book containing such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe Cell, and some very strange hats. It is my solemn and sacred occupation to research each detail of the Baudelaire children's lives and write them all down, but you may prefer to do some other solemn and sacred thing, such as reading another book instead. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket |
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Watch Your Mouth by Lemony Snicket ( 2002) Tolstoy wrote that happy families are alike and that each unhappy family is unhappy in a different way.In Watch Your Mouth, Daniel Handler takes "different" to a whole new level.... |
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The Wide Window A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket ( 2003)
The 11th entry in the popular Series of Unfortunate Events books surprisingly opens on a note of good fortune, but naturally, this doesn't last for long. The Baudelaire orphans--Violet, Klaus, and Sunny--make a new friend, discover old treachery, and battle some very volatile, deadly fungus as they continue their quest for answers. Sadly, their previous interaction with Count Olaf was not their last, and his new follows prove to be an enthusiastic bunch. Illustrated with occasional B&W, gothic-style illustrations.
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The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket ( 2007) |
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The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket ( 2000) Dear Reader, If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and the one you are holding may be the worst of them all. If you haven't got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a signaling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain, and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this book will probably fill you with despair. I will continue to record these tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide for yourself whether you can possibly endure this miserable story. With all due respect, |
