Cookbooks for Crazy People

I don’t know about you, but I am tired of hearing about all of these special dietary conditions that everyone seemed to spontaneously develop overnight in March 2011.  Every other conversation is about how “Oh, I can’t eat that burrito because my gluten intolerance will cause me to sprout hair from my eyeballs” or about how “my color blindness greatly affects my anxiety levels, so I can’t eat that piece of celery, but I would love a couple of purple grapes!”

Ugh.

The next big diet fad is right around the corner, and you can help spearhead it by buying a copy of the next trendy cookbook.

Luckily, we have some fantastic options featured below!




 

What this cookbook says about you: 

“I’m sorry, since my forefathers were all truckers, I can only eat deconstructed fast food fries seasoned with methamphetamine bread crumbs.”

 




 

What this cookbook says about you: 

“I need my food to be as dramatic, self righteous, and faux-Satanic as my teenage wardrobe.”

 




 

What this cookbook says about you: 

“Eating Paleo is so outdated.  I don’t want to eat like a caveman, I want to eat like an infant that hasn’t developed teeth.  That is our truest evolutionary state.”

 




 

What this cookbook says about you: 

“I refuse to engage in the upper class, 1%, elitist tradition of eating actual food.  You need to check your privilege.”

 




 

What this cookbook says about you: 

“OMG CAT CUPCAKES! I embody the worst perceptions of the Millennial Generation. No one eats in my house until they post their food online. Totes adorbs. #Hashtag.”

 




 

What this cookbook says about you: 

“I run on a diet of generic Ritalin, cheap red wine, and petty gossip.”

 


Any of these cookbooks would make for a fantastic gift for the chef (or sociopath) in your life.

Happy Cooking!




This entry was written by and posted on October 4, 2013 at 3:19 pm, filed under Food & Drink and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink

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