I don’t know about you, but I am tired of hearing about all of these special dietary conditions that everyone seemed to spontaneously develop overnight in March 2011. Every other conversation is about how “Oh, I can’t eat that burrito because my gluten intolerance will cause me to sprout hair from my eyeballs” or about how “my color blindness greatly affects my anxiety levels, so I can’t eat that piece of celery, but I would love a couple of purple grapes!”
The next big diet fad is right around the corner, and you can help spearhead it by buying a copy of the next trendy cookbook.
Luckily, we have some fantastic options featured below!
“I’m sorry, since my forefathers were all truckers, I can only eat deconstructed fast food fries seasoned with methamphetamine bread crumbs.”
“I need my food to be as dramatic, self righteous, and faux-Satanic as my teenage wardrobe.”
“Eating Paleo is so outdated. I don’t want to eat like a caveman, I want to eat like an infant that hasn’t developed teeth. That is our truest evolutionary state.”
“I refuse to engage in the upper class, 1%, elitist tradition of eating actual food. You need to check your privilege.”
“OMG CAT CUPCAKES! I embody the worst perceptions of the Millennial Generation. No one eats in my house until they post their food online. Totes adorbs. #Hashtag.”
“I run on a diet of generic Ritalin, cheap red wine, and petty gossip.”
Any of these cookbooks would make for a fantastic gift for the chef (or sociopath) in your life.