The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig Paperback - 1997

From the publisher

From P. J. O'Rourke, best-selling author and expert bachelor, comes a hilarious look at domestic life. Or, as P. J. puts it, This is a book about cooking, cleaning, and housekeeping for people who don't know how to do any of those things and aren't about to learn. In addition to debunking popular myths about bachelors (they are in fact not creatures known to hang around the house in silk smoking jackets, sipping brandy from oversized snifters) P. J. offers some useful sections on cleaning - or how best to avoid doing it: Spill something fresh on the floor because a slippery floor is much more like a clean, waxed floor than a stinky floor is.; Every month or so, take the curtains down-and throw them away. Turn the lights off if you don't want the neighbors to see what you're doing. The same goes for slipcovers.; Don't use Drano if a toilet gets clogged. Remembering, the toilet is a dog's idea of Perrier. And you don't want a dog with a melted tongue.; Sheets can be kept clean by getting drunk and falling asleep with your clothes on. In the inimitable style that has made him one of America's most popular humorists, P. J. provides an essential guide to the practical business of living in the modern world and proves that Camus had it all wrong about the myth of Sisyphus - it's not symbolic of life, just housekeeping. To say that P.J. O'Rourke is funny is like saying that the Rocky Mountains are scenic - accurate but insufficient. - Chicago Tribune