Skip to content

Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini Paperback - 2005 - 1st Edition

by Mark Leyner; Billy Goldberg

Do microwaves cause cancer? Is it bad to crack your knuckles? Written by a top physician and a top-notch humorist, this fascinating, silly, and downright educational reference book sets the record straight on the myriad folk remedies, urban legends, and "proven cures" that everybody's heard about.


Summary

Is There a Doctor in the House?Say you're at a party. You've had a martini or three, and you mingle through the crowd, wondering how long you need to stay before going out for pizza. Suddenly you're introduced to someone new, Dr. Nice Tomeetya. You forget the pizza. Now is the perfect time to bring up all those strange questions you'd like to ask during an office visit with your own doctor but haven't had the guts (or more likely the time) to do so. You're filled with liquid courage . . . now is your chance! If you've ever wanted to ask a doctor . . .-How do people in wheelchairs have sex?-Why do I get a killer headache when I suck down my milkshake too fast?-Can I lose my contact lens inside my head forever?-Why does asparagus make my pee smell?-Why do old people grow hair on their ears?-Is the old adage "beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer . . ." really true? . . . then Why Do Men Have Nipples? is the book for you.Compiled by Billy Goldberg, an emergency medicine physician, and Mark Leyner, bestselling author and well-known satirist, Why Do Men Have Nipples? offers real factual and really funny answers to some of the big questions about the oddities of our bodies.From the Trade Paperback edition.

From the publisher

Is There a Doctor in the House? Say you're at a party. You've had a martini or three, and you mingle through the crowd, wondering how long you need to stay before going out for pizza. Suddenly you're introduced to someone new, Dr. Nice Tomeetya. You forget the pizza. Now is the perfect time to bring up all those strange questions you'd like to ask during an office visit with your own doctor but haven't had the guts (or more likely the time) to do so. You're filled with liquid courage . . . now is your chance! If you've ever wanted to ask a doctor . . . -How do people in wheelchairs have sex? -Why do I get a killer headache when I suck down my milkshake too fast? -Can I lose my contact lens inside my head forever? -Why does asparagus make my pee smell? -Why do old people grow hair on their ears? -Is the old adage "beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer . . ." really true? . . . then Why Do Men Have Nipples? is the book for you. Compiled by Billy Goldberg, an emergency medicine physician, and Mark Leyner, bestselling author and well-known satirist, Why Do Men Have Nipples? offers real factual and really funny answers to some of the big questions about the oddities of our bodies.

From the jacket flap

Is There a Doctor in the House?
Say you're at a party. You've had a martini or three, and you mingle through the crowd, wondering how long you need to stay before going out for pizza. Suddenly you're introduced to someone new, Dr. Nice Tomeetya. You forget the pizza. Now is the perfect time to bring up all those strange questions you'd like to ask during an office visit with your own doctor but haven't had the guts (or more likely the time) to do so. You're filled with liquid courage . . . now is your chance! If you've ever wanted to ask a doctor . . . -How do people in wheelchairs have sex?
-Why do I get a killer headache when I suck down my milkshake too fast? -Can I lose my contact lens inside my head forever?
-Why does asparagus make my pee smell? -Why do old people grow hair on their ears?
-Is the old adage "beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer . . ." really true? . . . then "Why Do Men Have Nipples? is the book for you.
Compiled by Billy Goldberg, an emergency medicine physician, and Mark Leyner, bestselling author and well-known satirist, "Why Do Men Have Nipples? offers real factual and really funny answers to some of the big questions about the oddities of our bodies.

Details

  • Title Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini
  • Author Mark Leyner; Billy Goldberg
  • Binding Paperback
  • Edition number 1st
  • Edition 1
  • Pages 224
  • Volumes 1
  • Language ENG
  • Publisher Crown Publishing Group (NY), New York
  • Date 2005
  • ISBN 9781400082315 / 1400082315
  • Weight 0.35 lbs (0.16 kg)
  • Dimensions 7.5 x 5.42 x 0.47 in (19.05 x 13.77 x 1.19 cm)
  • Library of Congress subjects Medicine
  • Library of Congress Catalog Number 2005004882
  • Dewey Decimal Code 610

Excerpt

CHAPTER 1: YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT

It's 10 P.M., and my partner in writing and crime, Mark Leyner, and I are late as usual, but the party is in full swing. We brought a bottle of Don Julio tequila, which Leyner sampled voraciously in the cab, insisting that it needed to be screened for industrial toxins. We enter the elegantly appointed Park Avenue home of Eloise Cameron, a philanthropist, patron of the arts, and Botox junkie. Hors d'oeuvres are being served and the slightly inebriated and flush-faced Leyner grabs a mouthful of Swedish meatballs, proceeds to kiss our hostess, and then comments, "Eloise, baby, better lay off the collagen. Kissing those lips is like making out with the Michelin man." She attempts to smirk with disdain, but the Botox leaves her face impassive.

I corral Leyner and we proceed into the living room. No sooner have we entered when I'm embraced from behind. I turn around and it's Jeremy Burns, an investment banker who sits two rows behind me at the Knicks games. Jeremy is well known to the Madison Square Garden food vendors for his insatiable appetite for hot dogs, cotton candy, and beer. He is now almost unrecognizable in his new Atkins-induced skeletonlike state. "Who exhumed you?" Leyner belches. I am overcome by embarrassment but secretly wetting myself with laughter. Jeremy tries to sidestep Leyner and as their arms brush, Leyner is covered with the grease that now oozes from Jeremy's pores. Leyner whispers to me, "This dude is all greased up like a rectal thermometer." I push Leyner away and he uses this opportunity to sneak over to the bar for another blast of Don Julio. I am left with Jeremy and his insufferable stories about life on the meat and fat diet, and a million medical questions about food.

If we are what we eat, why do we know so little about food and nutrition?

DOES IT REALLY TAKE SEVEN YEARS TO DIGEST CHEWING GUM?

What is it with seven years? You break a mirror, seven years of bad luck. Each dog year is seven human years. Seven years to digest swallowed gum? What if a dog broke a mirror then swallowed a pack of gum? Sounds like an algebra problem.

Chewing gum is not digestible but it definitely doesn't sit in your stomach for years. Gum actually might help things move through the bowels faster. Sorbitol is sometimes used as a sweetener in gum and this can act as a laxative. What does this mean? Yes, if you look carefully, you should see it floating next to all of those lovely yellow corn kernels.



WHY DOES YOUR PEE SMELL WHEN YOU EAT ASPARAGUS?

Asparagus contains a sulfur compound called mercaptan. It is also found in onions, garlic, rotten eggs, and in the secretions of skunks. The signature smell occurs when this substance is broken down in your digestive system. Not all people have the gene for the enzyme that breaks down mercaptan, so some of you can eat all the asparagus you want without stinking up the place. One study published in the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology found that only 46 percent of British people tested produced the odor while 100 percent of French people tested did. Insert your favorite French joke here________________________________.


WHAT CAUSES AN ICE CREAM HEADACHE?

Aaaah, the joy of a Popsicle on a hot summer day.

One theory places the source for the brain freeze in the sinuses, where the pain may be caused by the rapid cooling of air in the frontal sinuses. This triggers local pain receptors.

Another theory postulates that the constriction of blood vessels in the roof and rear of the mouth causes pain receptors to overload and refer the pain to your head. There is a nerve center there, in the back of your mouth, called the sphenopalatine ganglion, and this is the most likely source of the dreaded ice cream headache.

A friend of ours suggested a quick cure of rapidly rubbing your tongue on the roof of your mouth to warm it up. Her demonstration included a bizarre clucking sound. Leyner tried this and found himself followed by a large goose of whom he seems to have become inordinately fond.

Media reviews

Citations

  • Ingram Advance, 08/01/2005, Page 65
  • Library Journal, 10/03/2005, Page 0
  • People Weekly, 08/29/2005, Page 53

About the author

Mark Leyner is the author of My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist; Tooth Imprints on a Corn Dog; I Smell Esther Williams; Et Tu Babe; and The Tetherballs of Bougainville. He has written scripts for a variety of films and television shows. His writing appears regularly in The New Yorker, Time, and GQ. Billy Goldberg, M.D., is an emergency medicine physician on faculty at a New York City teaching hospital. He is also a writer and artist whose paintings have been exhibited in New York City.
Back to Top

More Copies for Sale

Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

by Mark Leyner, Billy Goldberg

  • Used
Condition
Used - Very Good
ISBN 13
9781400082315
ISBN 10
1400082315
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Waltham, Massachusetts, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
$1.00
$3.00 shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Three Rivers Press. Used - Very Good. All orders guaranteed and ship within 24 hours. Your purchase supports More Than Words, a nonprofit job train program for youth, empowering youth to take charge of their lives by taking charge of a business.
Item Price
$1.00
$3.00 shipping to USA
Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

by Mark Leyner, Billy Goldberg

  • Used
Condition
Used - Very Good
ISBN 13
9781400082315
ISBN 10
1400082315
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Waltham, Massachusetts, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
$1.00
$3.00 shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Crown. Used - Very Good. All orders guaranteed and ship within 24 hours. Your purchase supports More Than Words, a nonprofit job training program for youth, empowering youth to take charge of their lives by taking charge of a business.
Item Price
$1.00
$3.00 shipping to USA
Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

by Mark Leyner, Billy Goldberg

  • Used
Condition
Used - Good
ISBN 13
9781400082315
ISBN 10
1400082315
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Waltham, Massachusetts, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
$1.00
$3.00 shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Crown. Used - Good. A sound copy with only light wear. Overall a solid copy at a great price!
Item Price
$1.00
$3.00 shipping to USA
Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

by Mark Leyner, Billy Goldberg

  • Used
Condition
Used - Good
ISBN 13
9781400082315
ISBN 10
1400082315
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Waltham, Massachusetts, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
$1.00
$3.00 shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Crown. Used - Good. . . All orders guaranteed and ship within 24 hours. Your purchase supports More Than Words, a nonprofit job training program for youth, empowering youth to take charge of their lives by taking charge of a business.
Item Price
$1.00
$3.00 shipping to USA
Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

by Mark Leyner, Billy Goldberg

  • Used
Condition
Used - Very Good
ISBN 13
9781400082315
ISBN 10
1400082315
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Waltham, Massachusetts, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
$1.71
$3.00 shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Crown. Used - Very Good. . . All orders guaranteed and ship within 24 hours. Your purchase supports More Than Words, a nonprofit job training program for youth, empowering youth to take charge of their lives by taking charge of a business.
Item Price
$1.71
$3.00 shipping to USA
Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

by Leyner, Mark

  • Used
Condition
UsedGood
ISBN 13
9781400082315
ISBN 10
1400082315
Quantity Available
2
Seller
Lynden, Washington, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
$3.90
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
UsedGood. Book is in good condition and may contain underlining or highlighting and minimal wear. The book can also include library labels. May not contain miscellaneous items (toys, dvds, etc). We offer 100% money back guarantee and fast customer support.
Item Price
$3.90
FREE shipping to USA
WHY DO MEN HAVE NIPPLES? HUNDRED
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

WHY DO MEN HAVE NIPPLES? HUNDRED

  • Used
Condition
UsedGood
ISBN 13
9781400082315
ISBN 10
1400082315
Quantity Available
2
Seller
Imperial, Missouri, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
$4.74
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
UsedGood. The item shows wear from consistent use, but it remains in good condition and works perfectly. All pages and cover are intact (including the dust cover, if applicable). Spine may show signs of wear. Pages may include limited notes and highlighting. May NOT include discs, access code or other supplemental materials.
Item Price
$4.74
FREE shipping to USA
Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

by Leyner, Mark; Goldberg, Billy

  • Used
  • Acceptable
  • Paperback
Condition
Used - Acceptable
Binding
Paperback
ISBN 13
9781400082315
ISBN 10
1400082315
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Memphis, Tennessee, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
$5.11
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Crown, 2005-07-26. Paperback. Acceptable. 5x0x7.
Item Price
$5.11
FREE shipping to USA
Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

by Leyner, Mark; Goldberg, Billy

  • Used
  • good
  • Paperback
Condition
Used - Good
Binding
Paperback
ISBN 13
9781400082315
ISBN 10
1400082315
Quantity Available
3
Seller
Memphis, Tennessee, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
$5.11
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Crown, 2005-07-26. Paperback. Good. 5x0x7.
Item Price
$5.11
FREE shipping to USA
Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

by Leyner, Mark; Goldberg, Billy

  • Used
  • Acceptable
  • Paperback
Condition
Used - Acceptable
Binding
Paperback
ISBN 13
9781400082315
ISBN 10
1400082315
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Kingwood, Texas, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
$5.15
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Crown, 2005-07-26. Paperback. Acceptable. 80x7x125.
Item Price
$5.15
FREE shipping to USA